Be Happy, Be Positive and Never Give up!.
These are the most heard and advised words of wisdom people are given across all sorts of hard times in their lives. They glimmer with positivity. The ultimate solace of an anxious mind. A positive mindset helps you cope with the most stressful periods of life, and boosts your mental and physical health.
But the question arises if these words of wisdom always work the way they sound, POSITIVELY?
If I am “always looking at the brighter side” I might hurt my eyes, for sure. What is the brightest of the stars shining without a dark sky, what is a human without emotions, of all sorts? The dark and negative periods of life are part of being an alive human being, we cannot always shove them over with positivity and not address them at all.
Toxic Positivity – An Unhealthy Coping Mechanism
A constant push of positivity and positive emotions across all the situations of life is Toxic Positivity. There is nothing wrong with adopting a positive mindset and a perspective of “looking on the bright side”, the problem arises when such a mindset makes you “deny the darker side”, invalidates those very common negative emotions, making you avoid the existence of them by repressing them even more.
A positive outlook on life and its inevitable events becomes TOXIC when it lets you believe only in the existence of positive emotions. The negative ones are denied, avoided, and finally repressed. It invalidates the whole wide range of emotions and minimalizes mental illness in general.
When people repress their negative emotions with positive words of affirmation, it might give them temporary hope and relief but it also creates a bubble of denial around such emotions. This bubble can easily burst when such unresolved emotions emerge again.
Signs of Toxic Positivity
There is Power in Positivity but when it makes you avoid Processing the Negativity, that is a sign of Toxic Positivity.
1. Good Vibes Only
Well, the vibes cannot always be good simply because that is how the real-world functions and so should you. Those bad vibes have to show up and be dealt with, otherwise, you would never be able to differentiate the bad ones and appreciate the good ones.
2. Always Stay Happy
Being happy is the goal but so is being a human. What is a human without the range of emotional experiences? No, it won’t always be roses but rough days too. The negative emotions are as pure and genuine as the positive ones. They indicate that something needs the fix. You are expected to smile more often but not on the account of suppressing your sorrows. You are expected to be more Happily Healing than Happily Hiding.
3. Never Give Up
Please feel free to give up. You do not need to always be in a constant war of dealing with something that depletes you of your energy, coping resources, and peace of mind. Give up on this mindset and give up on giving this as a piece of advice to others. It takes courage, maturity, and a strong person to give up on things that no longer serve them as they should.
4. Everything Happens for a Reason
These supposedly comforting words have recently become meme material over the internet spitting facts, for a reason. The event or the happening itself is painful besides adding a hope of having an assumingly better but unknown reason to that might not be that comforting all the time. So, how about we just address the emotions there and then rather put it off in the hope of finding the reason many years later or not who knows.
Need to PAUSE the Positivity!
The Reel Life isn’t the Real Life.
Social Media has its fair share of participation in the prevailing tale of positivity becoming Toxic. The Good Vibes Only culture over the internet sometimes leaves people feeling helpless in opening up about their Not So good vibes days and moments. The constant push of adopting a happy and positive mindset even in dire situations leaves people with more harm than good. It breeds guilt and shame in people experiencing negative emotions and feeling the inability to adopt a positive mindset at the moment. It further leads them to shut down, deny and finally suppress their emotions and never talk about them openly. This is the complete roadmap to stigmatized mental illness and mental health in general.
“The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure.”
– Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: The Counterintuitive Approach of Living a Good Life.
You need to be authentic about your emotions, feelings, and situations around you to be Truthfully Positive otherwise the trap of Toxic Positivity to gulp you and your true emotions down.
Blog By – DEEBHA SITHTA